Santa Claus

If you have ever adopted a child or worked with an adopted child, then you know that holidays and birthdays hold a unique form of stress for the child and the family.  Both birthdays and holidays serve as a reminder of family.  For the adopted child, they serve as a reminder of the family that diserted them and that they are the odd puzzle piece in their new family's picture.  In our house, Christmas is by far the most difficult holdiay because of Santa Claus.

Santa serves as a reminder of innosence and joy at Christmas.  Santa is the first step in devleoping faith in a child.  They never actually see Santa, but if they believe in him and behave, they are rewarded with a mountain of presents.  Jesus is similar, but the gifts we recieve are abstract.  That is why Santa is an amazing stepping stone in the hearts and faith of children.

In Jazz's head, Santa is a sorcerer who judges children and punishes the wicked, terrible children.  It doesn't matter if they just had a bad day, Santa knows all and will punish them without even giving them a chance to explain.  For an adopted child with TBI who frequently has meltdowns, difficult behaviors, and hard days you can imagine the stress she is under this time of year.

We have tried everything we can think of to explain that Santa is not evil and that Jazz is an amazing and good kid, but despite our best efforts, nothing has worked.

One year, my brother and I got candy coal and we put it in dad's stocking as a joke.  A huge mistake on our part.  Jazz broke down and sobbed hysterically for daddy.  She gave him hugs and told him that she thought he was the best dad. 

Confused for Dad

We tried to explain that we put it there as a joke, but having TBI really inhibits her ability to understand humor, so she said, it wasn't funny.  It was then that we realized how much she truly believes in Santa Claus and the myths about lumps of coal versus presents.

Another Christmas she was asking us a thousand inquisitive quesitons about Santa and how he would know how much she tries to be a good girl.  My dad and I got so exhausted we said, that we know Santa and we tell him how much she tries.  She still believes this, and luckily it still comforts her.

Last year, she finally asked mom if Santa was real.  We were thrilled!  Thank God!  She will finally relax.  Mommy sat her down and explained the whole thing.  She was direct, brief, and clear in her language to ensure that Jazz understood and could process the information.  The next day, she had forgotten all of it.  It was as if the conversation never took place.  Another joy of TBI.  And this year we still have Santa.

Today she had another hard day at school.  One of her biggest hard days, though I suppose it could have been predicted because it's Friday and the last day of school before vacation and the dreaded Christmas morning.  Most of her difficulties occur at school, so there was a lot of pressure on her today.  After the string of incidents occurred, she called me sobbing.  She told me many things and mostly in a jumbled teary TBI ridden voice, but clear as daylight burst out,

"AND NOW WHAT ABOUT SANTA CLAUS?!"

I went to our old staple that daddy and I would talk to Santa Claus and tell him how hard you try and that we know you are a good girl.

I am broken-hearted right now thinking about how stressed our poor baby is and how much I know she just needs to get to Christmas morning.  Jazz is the most amazing and perfect person I have ever met and she cannot see this in herself.  Usually I have ended my posts with a fun lesson learned.  Today, I end it in prayer and ask others for their prayers so that Jazz may have a peaceful Christmas and return to school confident in herself.

That, Santa Claus, is what Jazz needs and what I want for Christmas this year.

Much Love.

Photo Montage Entitled:

"Relief on Christmas Morning"

4yrs

5yrs

6yrs

8 yrs

9 yrs