Names

Like all children, Jazz developed names for all of us that we still use to this day.  The reason the names have been so important to us is because they did not come as easily to Jazz as they usually do for kids because she has special needs and she was adopted.

Jazz's first word was "DaDa."  This would seem not so impressive, except that she was deaf at the time and usually would just mutter a strings of dadadadada's...  That is until the day she named her, "DaDa."  My dad was resistant at first to falling in love with her because her adoption was not a sure thing when she was in transition to our home.  He did not want to hold her and fall in love with her just to have her get taken away from us.  However, on this day Jazz was sitting in the middle of the living room crying and happened to start saying, "DaDa?  DaDa?"  We told him she was asking for him, so we could not pick her up.  So his heart melted as he scooped her up and she stroked his goatee with a smile and said, "DaDa."

I was the next one to have a name.  She could not make her "S" sounds for a long time.  In fact, not really until Kindergarten.  I got my name the first morning that Jazz stayed over night with us.  She sat in her crib with her face pressed against the bars of the crib at about 6am calling, "Diddy?  Diddy?"  Until I opened my eyes and she squealed "Dider!"  Yes, I was "sissy" or "sister" and I still am in fact.  My husband laughs hysterically because she never uses my name, even when angry at me.  She will still yell out, "SISTER!"

Our brother was next.  He was named "Brudder" or sometimes "Dakie".  We still call him Brudder, but we have graduated to at least calling him Jakie.  When the movie Brother Bear came out, Jazz had just started to notice Disney movies.  When she saw this, we forever became members of a bear family.  Jake was "Brudder Bear."  Dad was "Daddy Bear".  I was "Sissy Bear" and mom is "Mama Bear."  Jazz has fondly been known as "Baby Bear".

Mom was the last person to have a name and it was a long time before Jazz finally called her "MaMa".  It was actually during a period when mom was away for just one or two nights.  Jazz got nervous because she could not find her and started asking us "Er MaMa go?"  Children who have been in foster care and/or have suffered abuse frequently develop attachment disorders, especially with mothers.  There is a frequently used term to describe the phenomenon as the "Primal Wound".  The person who is supposed to care for and keep them safe, has not done so and it permanently leaves a scar on their brain and affects the way they develop attachments through out their lives.  It was hard on my mom to not have a name and she would sit up late into the night rocking Jazz to sleep and telling her that she was safe and going to be ok now.  She is now the person that Jazz is closest to.  She and my mom worked hard for the name, "MaMa" but it has been worth the wait for them both.

It is interesting to look back at all the various nick names and pet names you will have through out your life.  For me, the greatest name I have ever received was, "Diddy".  Even if it was painfully early in the morning and was abruptly followed by, "Ake Up!"

Much Love!